Where you seek confirmation so shall you go.
I’m trying a new spring cleaning ritual this year. Yea, I’m dumping old scarves and frumpy sweaters I didn’t get around to wearing last winter, in general clearing some clutter around my physical environment, but there’s more baggage to dump this Spring than just “stuff”. I’m taking a good, long, loving look at the beliefs I hold about myself, the stories from my life that define bits of myself and explain habits, behaviors, etc. both good and bad.
If I continue to, by reflex, excuse myself or say “yea, that’s just me”, or “did you know that ____ happened when I was a kid”. then my current self is always burdened by the past and in many ways less free to expand into the newness of NOW. So, If I don’t like the mindset that that story puts me in, I’m going to stop telling it to myself, referencing it constantly. I’m going to all myself to forget ALL the gory details and try to choose new adventures, stories, and memories to define me; let the rough stuff fade.
We tend to remember the bad stuff, not because it’s necessarily more important than the good stuff, but because we harp on it and continually dip into that memory well for badges of honor or grit. Memories unused fade, right? So let’s actively engage and try to preserve the ones that make us feel expansive and happy.